BMBS Rd3, Wasing

As a Bristol student, prior to becoming a fair-weather biker I would ride in all conditions. As such I gained a pretty sound education in the quirks of muddy, rooty singletrack. This served me well at a stinking Margam last year where I was on course for my best Expert result (until I fell off on the flat - see below :)

With all the races having been dry this year I was actually looking forward to a wet Wasing. As forecast, it did rain, (un)fortunately the real heavy rain didn't fall until the end of the Elite race. Therefore I would like to blame the consistency of the mud on my woeful performance - had it been real greasy then maybe I would have done, I don't know, 10% better and finished in the top 30 instead of 33rd. Not a good performance but like I say it's the mud's fault, not mine.

Next up is my home race in Margam, a much loved old-school course with grassy drags and big climbs. Why people love these old courses I'm not sure. In fairness there were a few tricky sections last year, not least the flat part on the approach to the arena where I managed the impossible and fell off on a straight section and ended up with the handlebar in my groin and the feeling of having had a new ass ripped open...



Gang Pants: CHECK



Bristol Bikefest

Turn up the BASS

Here's one for you fact fans… the inaugural Bikefest celebrated Timberland's sponsorship of Ashton Court's trails whilst this, the tenth edition, marked the first phase of the SW1 funded (re-)re-development of our trails. If the new look Quarry section is anything to go by then the once niggly rooty trails will soon be replaced by beautifully flowing singletrack.

I recall the very first Bikefest was won by 'Volvo Canondale'. Hmmm. I have since entered every one, sometimes in a team, sometimes on a singlespeed and sometimes on my own. In that time some things have remained constant: the fine weather, the laid back atmosphere, the cheery Cadets, suicide dog walkers and the inane PA ramblings.

This year I drew the short straw for the Le Mans style running start. Basically I can't run. I am slow, it hurts my legs and it makes me look silly. Once onboard the Ghost Lector 9000 :) a mighty shove from housemate Matt got me on my way and I had a clear run (bar the dog walkers and joggers) for the entire lap.

Through the early stages we built up an overall lead of a few minutes which was never quite comfortable enough to allow for a mechanical. During the evening our lead was very slowly whittled away by Cycle Coaching Wales, a real handy team comprising a few national standard boyos. With Robby feeling the miles in his legs from his recent Gran Fondo in Tuscany we re-shuffled our order to try and hold off second place. It seems they did the same and on the penultimate lap they took the lead. Unlike Mountain Mayhem the rules of Bikefest are that no laps completed after the 9pm cut off count. So, after a mammoth tussle Roadie Rob came in at approx 8.38, just behind one of the Cycle Coaching Wales strong boys which meant that in order to win we not only had to re-take the lead but put in the fastest lap of the day so as to beat the cut off. That we did thanks to lots of caffeine, our vociferous support, Ghost, Gaerne shoes and Mart from Hotlines. High fives to the rest of the Psyclewerx team: Robby, Rob and Scott Easter.

WELSH CHAMPS, Builth Wells

A very pretty Fforest Fields played host to the 2011 Welsh Champs mid-May. Set on a wooded hillside resplendent with all its bluebells, the full extent of the course could be seen from the arena snaking up, down and across the hill. It was real nice and understated and could have been a real pig in the wet due to all the off camber rooted sections.

There's not massive strength in depth in Wales and with our only regular World Cup rider present, first was a formality for Lee WIlliams. Without Matt Page or any crossover roadies I figured a podium was a possibility should any of the other contenders puncture or catch a root. Poor Ant O'Boyle (Torq) had a host of problems which saw him DNF from a guaranteed second and bumped me up to 4^th for most of the race. Towards the end the unrelenting climbs took their toll and a tenacious Ed Roberts passed me going in to the final lap. Still, 5^th in my first national (regional? sub-national? state?) champs is alright.

WeeDub Lupo

BMBS Rd2, Dalby

Not since the heyday of XC racing in the nineties has England hosted a round of the World Cup. It's fair to say that in comparison to the staid Newnham Park venue of old (come on, the Pipeline descent?!), Dalby well represents the evolution of XC courses – technical descents, technical climbs and, at the UCI's behest, a clover leaf format which allows the appreciative crowds not one but TWO glimpses of their boys in lycra.

The night before the race - when I figure healthy eating makes no odds to your prospects - comprised Tapas in nearby Pickering followed by a boys night in: Ben and Jerrys, Mrs Crimble's coconut macaroons and an awful Rene Zellweger film. Woop.

Come race day conditions were perfectly dry and not too hot, so no need for a last minute tyre change from the trusty Aspens (also used by star attraction for the day, race winner and past World Cup winner, Geoff Kabush of Canada). Following my 46^th position from round one I was gridded towards the back so the aim was not only to avoid being lapped but also to improve on 46^th so that I'd benefit from a better ranking for round three.

Fifty odd riders isn't much compared to the heady days of '90s XC but on a singletrack-heavy course like this a poor start means being strung a long way from the leaders. The expected bottleneck came at the first sign of a rocky feature where the courteous mugs like me waited for the congestion to ease whilst the heated racesnakes bypassed us on their cheeky little detours. Through the middle part of the race I found myself yo-yoing with George Budd (Salsa Racing), with Matt Page (recently crowned UK and European 24hr Champ) never far behind. Racing high point of the weekend was clearing the climb for the first time in ~14 attempts and two years of trying. Unfortunately the time gained over the chicken run (who'd have thought, uphill chicken runs) was soon lost as the adrenaline ebbed away! Towards the end the strength of George and Matt showed as they steadily pulled away, reminding me of another area of training that needs addressing. Still, 31^st in a foreign flavoured field isn't all bad.

Thanks again to Hotlines and Ghost and also Barry Camel for his weekend edit (below).

Davey does Dalby

Again, courtesy of Barry Camel (do excuse the 'mid-table racer' bit - artistic license:) ...

Veins = Form

It’s clear that most cyclists suffer from body dysmorphia to some degree. Look no further than the shaving, the shiny embrocations, the self tanning and the long socks to mask those lamp post legs.

For me, as mentioned previously, the prevalence of visible veins has always been a loose barometer of form. It kind of makes sense: fit = lean = sticky out veins. I think this was the theme of my highest scoring essay in Geographies of Food where I talked about banana chips and Lance Armstrong and veins and the perception of well being. Also, maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s the fact that their legs are pasty at the start of the season, but I’m sure the pros legs look less veiny prior to having ridden in to form.

The myth was sort of dispelled in my first race of the season where, despite legs like a roider, the result was no good. Following Tom Southam’s insights, I figure it is probably time to stop obsessing about a look that is desirable to no one but a try hard biker.

Oinkleton has arrived

At last, thanks to Hotlines (and Psyclewerx for piecing it together) my Ragley Piglet is ready to ride. Considering it's a Frankenbike built up from odd bits and spare bobs it doesn't look too bad.

Disclaimer: As a nod to being a Ghost rider first and foremost please note the Ghost wheels (and the OEM tyres :) There should be no conflict of interests between the trail friendly, single speed Piglet and the race ready, 30 speed RT Lector - there is room in my heart for both.

BMX Bandits

I know nowt aboot BMX but this video is Rad

BMBS Rd1, Sherwood Pines

About 18 months in to my life as a cross country racer and I found myself back at Sherwood Pines. Since being promoted to Elite it meant that some things were to be done differently this time round: no turning up on race day armed with a couple of spare tyres to cater for most eventualities; no more bimbling around for a solitary practice lap; and, most importantly, no more turning up late for gridding. Some things never change as I still managed to miss the grid call, though it's debatable what difference it made in starting at the back compared to starting very near the back! At least I had no time for the nerves to take hold.

Unsurprisingly the main difference between Elite and Expert is the unrelenting pace and the strength in depth of talent – I always found there were faster boys than me in Expert but at least there were only a few of us vying for the holeshot. At Sherwood, however, the flat nature of the course is characterised by twisty, loamy singletrack linked by long sections of fire road, making for intense racing typical of a 2hour interval session where the big bursts of effort are on keeping hold of the wheel in front of you. It is probably the only race of the year where roadie-style drafting is advantageous on the fast fire road drags.

A high quality field comprising a handful of European pros meant that my main objective was to avoid being lapped! After narrowly avoiding the start line pileup I settled in to the rhythm of St David as I found myself sharing the work with two other Welsh lads. We stayed together for much of the second half of the race until Sion o'Boyle (Torq) lost his front wheel going in to the last lap! At this point it was damage limitation, trying to manage the cramp that follows a dropped water bottle (my first since Sherwood 2010!). Ben Roff (Orange Monkeys) and I worked together for much of the last lap; the dirty deed of having dropped a countryman weighing heavy on our minds. We were only 20seconds up but on a course like this a few seconds might as well be minutes. At the end I finished a relieved 46^th. Oli Beckingsale needn't lose any sleep just yet.

Thanks to Hotlines and Ghost whose RT Lector 9000 proved astoundingly tight, light and nimble in Robin Hood's back yard. Roll on the techy delights of Dalby!

Serviced apartments: The Future for race accommodation!

DIDN'T HE DO Builth WELLS

Not really. Round 2 of the Welsh XC Series was held on a nice traditional course overlooking the Royal Welsh Showgrounds in Builth. Nice in a none-too demanding kind of way: a spectator friendly two leaf clover layout with no mega hills :) and no real tech :(

Result was a little disappointing considering the positive signs in the lead up: my vanity barometer showed an increasing number of visible (not varicose!) veins in the legs plus, since Christmas, I have shed the equivalent to approximately 16 of these puppies (accessories not included).

Thanks to Amy for putting us up for the weekend, the lairy spectators and JBs beard trimmer for giving my legs the more manly, semi-shaven look.